


We vibe to the music of kings *distorted mii shop noises*

by Anonymous



Category: DreamSMP, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Also related to Drista and Mamacita, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, CAN I SAY NO BETA IF I M THE BETA????, Cara | CaptainPuffy and Jschlatt are Siblings, Clay | Dream and Grayson | Purpled and Luke | Punz are Siblings, Crack, Don't shoot the messenger y'all, Eret and Niki | Nihachu and Floris | Fundy and Ranboo are Siblings, Fundy aint Wilbur's kid in this, Gen, Georgenotfound and Karl Jacobs are twins, I mean he adopted all of them soooo, I'm not the one who wrote this, Its a chatfic, Its the fucking dsmp do you expect anything different, Mexican Dream is Quackity's older brother, More tags will be added when I know what the fuck im doing, Niki and Ranboo are biologically related, OH FUCK IM THE BETA, Phil Watson is Wilbur Soot's Parent, Sally is also a swimmer, Sally is an egirl with a bf named Jared who is a massive D I C K, Sam | Awesamdude and Sam Nook are twins, The Captain is Tubbo's dad, The Egg is here, They have matching heterochromia as well (Blue and brown), Tho he did get unofficially adopted by Sally, Trauma, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wilbur and Schlatt have memory problems, Wilbur and Schlatt know each other, also named Lucid :), idk - Freeform, ofc there's crack, what is it for?, who's name is Lullaby here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29977848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Ranboo gets added into a chat with two crazy fuckers for a project, who then proceed to add him into an even bigger chat with even more crazy fuckers who apparently know his family.Or: Ranboo frantically tries to keep the fact he's adopted hidden from other adopted people because he's a mess (and honestly mood)
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 68
Kudos: 379
Collections: Anonymous Collection





	1. Ranboo: rest in pieces people i didnt really know

**Author's Note:**

> Ages:
> 
> BadboyHalo: 20, Likes Skeppy (he/him)  
> Skeppy: 19, Likes Bbh (he/him)  
> Sapnap: 19, Likes Karl and Quackity (he/him)  
> Karl: 18, Likes Sapnap and Quackity (he/they)  
> Quackity: 18, likes Karl and Sapnap (he/they)  
> Dream: 20, likes Fundy (he/him)  
> Fundy: 19, likes Dream (he/him, is trans)  
> Niki: 20, might have a crush on Puffy but shhhhh (she/they)  
> Eret: 23 (all pronouns)  
> Ranboo: 16 (he/they/ender)  
> Tubbo: 16 (he/they)  
> Tommy: 15 (he/she)  
> Purpled: 16 (he/him)  
> Punz: 20 (he/him)  
> Lullaby: 23 (Girl dream) (she/her)  
> Drista: 14 (she/her)  
> Boffy: 15 (he/him)  
> Puffy: 21 (she/her)  
> George: 20 (he/they)  
> Technoblade: 20 (he/him, maybe trans?)  
> Wilbur: 20 (he/him, also maybe trans?)  
> Phil: 33 (he/him)  
> Sam: 21 (he/they)  
> Nook: 21 (Sam Nook)(they/he)  
> Schlatt: 20 (he/him)  
> Lucid: 24 (Mexcian Dream) (they/them)
> 
> The various Chats:  
>  **Royalty_TM:** Eret, Niki, Fundy and Ranboo  
> King- Eret  
> Queen Niki- Niki  
> Princey Boi- Fundy  
> Booran the 5th- Ranboo
> 
>  **You're adopted. No y o u r adopted. Stfu were all adopted:** Tommy, Wilbur, Techno, and Phil  
> Middle Child: Wilbur  
> Favorite: Techno  
> Idiot youngest: Tommy  
> The poggest father: Phil (or Dadza)
> 
>  **Ducklings <3:** Puffy, Dream, Drista, Boffy, Lullaby (Girl Dream), Punz, Purpled  
> Violet Violence: Purpled  
> Gimmie Money: Punz  
> Fuck Cows: Boffy  
> I have a Fork: Drista  
> Death to Me: Lullaby  
> Speedrunning Life: Dream  
> Mamma Duck: Puffy
> 
>  ***Distorted wii music*:** Basically Everyone - the parents and most of the siblings  
> Acnh but better: Sam Nook  
> Green eggs and Ham: Sam  
> Green: Dream  
> Colorblind: George  
> Simp: Sapnap  
> Honky Boi: Karl  
> QuackQuack: Quackity  
> Furry: Fundy  
> Ctrnidhgs: Eret (C ant T alk R ight N ow I m D oing H ot G irl S hit)  
> Knoife :p : Nikki  
> Ranbonk: Ranboo  
> BIGMAN: Tommy  
> ArsonistBee: Tubbo  
> Orange man: Purpled  
> Muffin Demon: BadboyHalo  
> Diomend Peunut Butter: Skeppy  
> Piglet but stabby: Technoblade  
> Man me a sand: Wilbur  
> My Pretty Princess/Mr. Fragrance: Schlatt  
> Money money money: Punz

**[Toby_U has created the chat]**  
**Toby_U has added Ryan_L**  
**Toby_U has added Theseus_M**  
**[Unnamed chat] Tuesday 4:56 PM**

Toby_U: Hi guys!!! So Ms.Mizu said we should make a groupchat so we can talk to each other about the project!

Theseus_M: TUBBOOOOOO MY MANNNNNNNNN

**Theseus_M has changed their name to Tommy**

Tommy: AYEEEE 

Ryan_L: uh..  
Ryan_L: hi?

**Toby_U has changed their name to Tubbo**

Tubbo: oh wait  
Tubbo: youre not the person i wanted-  
Tubbo: do you know a Ranboo?

Ryan_L: oh uh  
Ryan_L: that would be me  
Ryan_L: the office lady didnt believe me when i said my name was legally ranboo so i just lied and told her it was ryan 

Tubbo: ohhhhhhhhh

Tommy: THATS HELLA UNDERSTANDABLE MY DUDE  
Tommy: IT TOOK ALMOST 2 WEEKS TO CONVICE THE PEOPLE IN THE BORD THAT MY NAME WAS ACTUALLY THESEUS 

Tubbo: tommy-  
Tubbo: tommy my name is Turboculosis  
Tubbo: theesus is so normal acompared to that

**Ryan_L changed their name to Ranboo**

Tommy: LLLLLLLLLL  
Tommy: YOUR PARENTS DEFFO HATED YOU LLLLLLL  
Tubbo: tommy-  
Tubbo: you literally know they actually did-

Tommy: OH-  
Tommy: RIGHT SORRY TUBBO

Ranboo: so uh-  
Ranboo: ignoring that  
Ranboo: did either of you actually take notes when were assigned this project?  
Ranboo: cuz i might have forgotten-

Tommy: LMAO NAH  
Tommy: I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THE PROJECT IS 

Tubbo: i think its something about mytholaogy?  
Tubbo: mythoalagy?  
Tubbo: mithalagy?  
Tubbo: fuck 

Tommy: Its mythology big guy  
Tommy: remember like biology with the ology at the end?

Tubbo: oh yeah-  
Tubbo: thanks 

Ranboo: i feel bad for asking but what was that?

Tubbo: oh i have dyslexia  
Tubbo: which im going to set whoever decided that was the spelling for it on mother fucking f i r e 

Ranboo: oh! Thats cool!

Tommy: OK SO I ENDED UP ASKING SOME OF THE FELLOW POGGERS MEN THAT I KNOW  
Tommy: AND THE PROJECT IS ABOUT PICKING YOUR FAOVORITE MYTH AND THEN HOW YOU RELATE TO THE STORY

Ranboo: oh nice thanks

Tubbo: so what myth should we do?  
Tubbo: not one with a lot of long names please  
Tubbo: the amount of times ive gotten a headache from textbook names-

Tommy: if that isnt a fuckking mood my buddy ol pal

* * *

**[DMS BigManInnit to Tubbsters] Tuesday 5:18 PM**

Tubbsters: Tommy you know you dont have to act like that n front of ranboo  
Tubbsters: he was chill with my deslixya 

BigManInnit: i know  
BigManInnit: i just  
BigManInnit: i feel like if im angry he’ll leave  
BigManinnit: i just dont wanna lose anyone again

Tubbsters: Tommy its ok  
Tubbsters: hell understand  
Tubbsters: and if he doesnt?  
Tubbsters: well at least its a short project anyway

BigManInnit: yeah i guess  
BigManInnit: thanks tubbo

Tubbsters: no problem pig man  
Tubbsters: BIG  
Tubbsters: I MEANT BIG

BigManInnit: TUBBO YOURE DEAD

* * *

**[Unnamed chat] Tuesday 5:27 PM**

Ranboo: uh guys?  
Ranboo: hello?  
Ranboo: dammnit Ran  
Ranboo: youve scared them away again

Tubbo: NO YOU DIDNNT A.KJNEKTJ FUCK

Ranboo: UH????  
Ranboo: YOU GOOD MAN??

Tommy: FUCKER CALLED ME A PIG MAN SO NOW IM MURDERING HIM  
Tommy: oh waot  
Tommy: oh fuck

Ranboo: ?????

Tommy: SHIT SHITS SHIT HAIOTHR

Tubbo: :)

Ranboo: and now i have lost the only people i know in this school  
Ranboo: rest in pieces people i didnt really know

* * *

**[Royalty_TM] Tuesday 6:32**

King: Ranboo-

Queen Niki: Ranboo you ok?

Booran the 5th: ah yes my dear lords, i Booran the 5th am in full mental stability and am perfectly ok. 

Queen Niki: Fundy?

Princey boi: he hasnt eated in 28 hours because he forgot and now hes stressing out about being kicked out again 

King: Ranboo….

Princey Boi: we might be watching our comfort movies because i too am having a small panic attack over things

Queen Niki: Teachers deadnaming you again?  
Princey Boi: you know it! B)

Booran the 5th: lmao the subsitute wouldnt call me by my name today because “its not on the seating chart”  
Booran the 5th: B)

King: Im gonna ask Techno if he knows how to hide a body real quick

Queen Niki: Eret we all know how?

King: no no he told me he has new swords  
King: i need to trick him into letting me use them

Booran the 5th: Uh?  
Booran the 5th: whos techno?

Fundy: hes a friend of ours  
Fundy: You’ll probably meet him soon. :)

Booran the 5th: that does not give me comfort sir 

Fundy: Never meant too :)

Booran the 5th: *f e a r*

* * *

**[*distorted mii shop noises*] Tuesday 6:58**

Ctrndhgs: Technoblade. 

Dududu: oh shit-

SimpNimp: rip techno

Honky boi: f man

Quack: THANK GOD PLEASE KILL HIM

Piglet but stabby: Quackity. 

Quack: FUCK I DIDNT MEAN IT

Ctrndhgs: Technoblade Minecraft. 

Piglet but stabby: Yes Eret?

Diamond peunut butter man: oh is it dark green?

Ctrndhgs: more like lighter green but also yes dark green

Piglet but stabby: yeah sure you can use my swords

Piglet but stabby: just make sure to sharpen them afterwords 

BIGMAN: i feel like i just witnessed a frug deal

ArsonistBees: frug

BIGMAN: STFU TUBBO YOU ARE NOT POGGERS

ArsonistBees: Henry. 

BIGMAN: NVM TUBBO YOU ARE VERY POGGERS I DO NOT KNOW WHAT INWAS SAYING PLEASE DONT KILL ME THANK YOU

ArsonistBees: :) 

Honky Boi: am I allowed to ask what dark green and lighter green mean?

Knoife <3: no.

Ctrndhgs: no.

Diomand peunut butter man: nahhhhh

Muffin demon: can I ask? ( ・∇・)

Diomand puneut butter man: OF COURSE

Ctrndohgs: sure if you want 

Piglet but stabby: you will definitely use this against me but sure 

BIGMAN: FUCK YOU GIYS ARE BPOJNGGGG

piglet but stabby: bpojng 

BIGMAN: OH FUCK YOU

muffin demon: LANGUAGE Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

**BIGMAN has added Ranboo**

BIGMAN: FUCK  
BIGMAN: SHIT 

Ranboo: hello?

ArsonistBees: HELLO RANBOOB

Dududu: OH MY GOD RANBOOB SLDJJAJDJS

Honky Boi: OAKDJAJDJIAKDBFA

Ranboo: those keys smashes are ugly as fuck.

Muffin demon: normally I would say language but your new  
Muffin demon: and your correct 

SimpNimp: HAHA SUCK IT DREAM 

Diomand penut butter man: thag deosntn meen your key smashed are uglier sapnap

SimpNimp: o-o  
SimpNimp: BADDDDDD  


Muffin demon: mhm?

SimpNimp: SKEPPYS BEING RUDEEEEE

Ranboo: I will now return to my blanket fort of isolation.  
Ranboo: goodbye.

**Ranboo left the chat**

**ArsonistBees has added, Ranboo, to the chat**

ArsonistBees: there is no leaving my good sir. :)

Ranboo: terrifying thank you :)

ArsonistBees: :)


	2. Ranboo: TUBBO I KNOW I HAVE A BAD MEMORY BUT AT LEAST I CAN REMEMBER WHO IM RELATED TO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Here's our message from the beautiful gremlin that writes this fic:**
> 
> SUP FUCKERS! ITS ME THE AUTHOR! (idk what to put here uhhhhhh…..say hi to me in the comments?) OH OH OH IM CURRENTLY 52542 ON THE AO3 WAITING LIST FOR MY OWN ACCOUNT SO THATS POG, ANYWAY LETS GET INTO THIS MESS

**[*Distorted wii shop nosies* ]**

My pretty princess: and that is why im not allowed in any walmart within a 30 mile radius

QuackQuack: i dated him.  
QuackQuack: i dated this man.  
QuackQuack: i question my own mental health sometimes

DUDUDU : QUACKITY  
DUDUDU: QUACKITY TAKE YOUR BROTHER BACK PLEASEEEEE

QuackQuack: OH GOD DID HE AND YOUR SISTER GET DRUNK AGAIN

DUDUDU: MY FAMILYS MOSTLY OUT OF THE HOUSE TO GO VIST SCHLATTS FAMILY AND I DIDNT WANT TO GO SO I RAN BACK HOME  
DUDUDU: MY POOR VIRGIN EARSSSSSSSSS

QuackQuack: YOUR POOR VIRGIN EARSSSSSSSS

DUDUDU: AHHHHHHHHH

Ranboo: i should be concerned but none of siblings have partners so im just going to laugh at your pain

BIGMAN: LMAO SAME BIG MAN

ArsonistBees: .....  
ArsonistBees: i dont have siblingings :(  
ArsonistBees: OH WIAT  
ArsonistBees: YES I DO 

Ranboo: OARHGBAERJHGBAER

BIGMAN: AWOGBHRGR

DUDUDU: TUBBO????

Honky Boi: OH MY GOD

Sand me a man: POOR LANI BEING FORGOTTEN LIKE THAT

Ranboo: TUBBO I KNOW I HAVE A BAD MEMORY BUT AT LEAST I CAN REMEMBER WHO IM RELATED TO 

ArsonistBees: OH SHUT UP SHES BE TRAVELING WITH MY DAD FOR ALMOST 2 MONTHS NOW IM ALLOWED TO FORGET

BIGMAN: NO  
BIGMAN:: YOURE REALLY NOT

Piglet but stabby: if it makes you feel any better tubbo  
Piglet but stabby: wilbur once forgot we’re twins 

Sand me a man: OH GOD NO TECHNO PLEASE DONT  
Sand me a man: PLEASE DONT TELL THAT STORY 

Piglet but stabby: give me the key to dads fireworks and i wont.

Sand me a man: I DONT EVEN HAVE THAT???

Piglet but stabby: he’ll give it to you tho and you know it

Sand me a man: YOU'RE LITERALLY THE FAVOURITE???  
Sand me a man: IF ANYTHING HE WOULD GIVE IT TO YOU AND NOT ME???

Piglet but stabby: i am not the favorite

BIGMAN: uh-  
BIGMAN: you really are big man 

ArsonistBees: yahhhhhhhhhhhhh

DUDUDU: ive only been to your house 3 times and even i know that

Piglet but stabby: wait what  
Piglet but stabby: 3???

DUDUDU: yeah?

Piglet but stabby: i only invited you over once?  
Piglet but stabby: and wilbur invited you the other time?  
Piglet but stabby: Tommy?

DUDUDU: nah it was during The Week.

Piglet But stabby: ohhhhhhh

Ranboo: i am afraid to ask  
Ranboo: but what was the week?

Sand me a man: The Week.

Ranboo: uh yeah  
Ranboo: The Week.

Furry: Ranboo its better if you dont know

Ranboo: that is making me even more afraid 

Furry: good :)

Knoife <3: Fundy.

Orangen’t: i just went by the highschool-  
Orangen’t: and someones just blasting Achellies come down  
Orangen’t: i feel like i should be concerned-

DUDUDU: ah yes  
DUDUDU: the burnt out gifted kid anthem  
DUDUDU: _@dreamteam_  
DUDUDU: all rise for the nation anthem 

Colorblind <3: o7

SimpNimp: o7

Muffin Demon: o7

Sand me a man: do i count?

Piglet but stabby: I know i sure do  
Piglet but stabby: o7

Ranboo: o7

* * *

**[Unnamed chat]**

Ranboo: Unrelated but do you guys wanna do our project on Achilles? 

Tubbo: yeah sure idrc 

Tommy: SOUNDS GOOD BIG MAN

**Tubbo changed the chat name to 'Achilles the project'**

Ranboo: i am in fact a big man  
Ranboo: thank you for noticing

* * *

**[*distorted wii shop nosies*]**

Ranboo: unrelated but have any of you ever had Jelly straws?

My pretty princess: i do not like the sound of that-

Ctrndhgs: OH YEAH THOSE

Ranboo: MHMHMHMHMHM

Piglet but stabby: I have not. But I’m interested?

BIGMAN: BRING SOME TO SCHOOL BIG MAN 

Ranboo: OK I WILL

* * *

**[Royalty_TM]**

Queen Niki: Ranboo why does your spotify say you've been listening to Achellies come down for 9 hours?

Booran the 5th: ah that is incorrect  
Booran the 5th: i was listening to sugar crash for 5 hours and then i have been listening to achilles come down for 4  
Booran the 5th: smh spotify reporting false information 

King: and fundy?  
King: care to explain why you've been listening to arsonists lullaby for 4 hours? 

Princy Boi: that is also a lie  
Princy Boi: the real thing is 

**Princy Boi left the chat**

Queen Niki: i-

Booran the 5th: THAT WAS SO SMART WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT

**King added Fundy to the chat**  
**King changed Fundy's name to Princey Boi**

Princey Boi: damnit-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao hi its me again, jelly straws are an actual thing i found and i freaking l o v e them (the achilles come down thing is also true- i have a playlist on youtube thats just like 30 different versions of the song)
> 
> **Ayyyyy mood. Achilles come down is just a banger (and _no_ i don't say this just as a burnt out gifted(?) kid)**


	3. author gremlin vents through Minecraft men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, IT IS I, THE BEAUTIFUL AUTHOR GREMLIN! I AM CURRENTLY WATCHING PUPPET HISTORY WHILE WRITING THIS SO THERE WILL BE MULTIPLE TYPOS
> 
> He says before ignoring his fic for 3 hours until he decides he’s going to inflict pain on his favorite characters because he isn’t ok mentally B) 
> 
> **mood**

**[*Distorted wii shop nosies* ]**

Colorblind <3: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND  
Colorblind <3: wait shit  
Colorblind <3: ignore that please 

Ranboo: You ok?

Colorblind <3: I haven’t done my homework in 3 days and sleep for 12 hours at a time but otherwise yeah 

DUDUDU: George....

Colorblind <3: shut it dream  
Colorblind <3: I’m fucking fine 

SimpNimp: ayeeeeeee

DUDUDU: not the time Sapnap

SimpNimp: George wanna come over to my house and get high to ignore all our problems B) 

Colorblind <3: oh hell yeah dude B) 

Ranboo: _@everyone_  
Ranboo: in one song that all fellow mentally ill people can understand please tell us how you're feeling 

Furry: *this is home starts blasting*

Piglet but stabby: *achilles come down but it’s slower blasts*

SimpNimp: *heather and empty try and fight each other to be louder*

Piglet but stabby: ah yes eating disorders and unrequited love  
Piglet but stabby: the perfect mix

Colorblind <3: *everything I wanted plays on repeat*

SimpNimp: good choice good choice

DUDUDU: NO???  
DUDUDU: NOT GOOD CHOICE???

BIGMAN: *I’ll be good plays quietly*

ArsonistBees: TOMMY????

Piglet but stabby: Toms???

Sand me a man: I’m-  
Sand me a man: Tommy are you ok?

BIGMAN: this is from the man who wrote Jubilee Line

Sand me a man: this isn’t about me this is about you 

BIGMAN: nah bro I’m chill 

Ranboo: anyway on a better note  
Ranboo: my cat decided to fall asleep on my homework and it’s adorable 

DUDUDU: GASP  
DUDUDU: C A T S

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly idk what this chapter was but here have it lmao, I’m trying to post like once a day (sorry to my beta/publisher) (( **'s all good, gives me a schedule lmao** )) so here’s this I guess lmao (it’s like 3 am I’m tired) also GIMMMIE PLOT IDEAS IN COMMENTS MAYBE? PLEASE? ALSO THIS FIC GAINED SO MUCH TRACTION ALREADY??? H O W??? W H Y???
> 
> **its a chatfic gremlin child. They tend to do that. (Also, They've been trying to get me to post some of my tiny drabbles and i might do that (In anon ofc) if y'all would like. gimme a thumbs up if yes and "fuck no" if no in the comments :D**


	4. ArsonistBees: YOU DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK YOU DONT GET TO TALK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ME AND FELLOW ANON HAVE DECIDED TO NAME THIS FIC ROB  
> THE CONVERSATION WENT LIKE THIS:
> 
> Me: it is now our fic, we share it
> 
> Him: it is. It is our child
> 
> Me: ITS OUR CHILD!!! WE SHOULD NAME IT!!
> 
> Him: TAYLOR?? RILEY?? BOB??
> 
> Me: WE ALREADY HAVE A BOB
> 
> Him: ROB?
> 
> Me: I LIKE ROB
> 
> Him: THE FICS NAME IS NOW ROB
> 
> Me: WONDERFUL
> 
> ALSO TO YOU GUYS WHO KEEP COMMENTING I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND I WOULD DIE FOR ALL OF YOU (/p)
> 
> **Also special shout out to anarchy_pog for commenting on literally every chapter like damn. Commitment dude.**

**[*distorted wii shop nosies*]**

Sand me a man: ERET YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING YOU'RE A TRAITOR 

BIGMAN: EXACTLY  
BIGMAN: YOU DONT GET A SAY IN THIS BATTLE YOU FUCKER 

EggpireUwU: LANGUAGE 

Skippy: aalos ues we acanged oaru namles

Piglet but stabby: wtf-

EggpireUwU: *also yes we changed our names 

Ctrndhgs: IT WAS A FUCKING CREEK WILBUR  
Ctrndhgs: I JUST ASKED IF I COULD HAVE YOUR CHIPS AT LUNCH TODAY 

Piglet but stabby: oh are we talking about L’ whats its name?

My pretty princess: Manburg

ArsonistBees: IT WAS L’MANBURG 

My pretty princess: pretty sure it was Manburg Tubs

ArsonistBees: YOU DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK YOU DONT GET TO TALK

My pretty princess: Glatt

Sand me a man: imagine dying from a heart attack  
Sand me a man: c r i n g e e e e 

My pretty princess: you literally died because you pushed tommy down a ravine and ended up getting grounded so we said you got stabbed by your dad what do you mean “cringe”

Sand me a man: AT LEAST I DIDNT GET GROUNDED FOR 6 MONTHS BECAUSE I TRIED TO KILL TUBBO

My pretty princess: THAT WAS LITERALLY TECHNOBLADE???

ArsonistBees: He reinforced my fear of fireworks! :D 

Piglet but stabby: i already said the s-word for that Tubbo

Ranboo: did-  
Ranboo: did you just call sorry the “s-word”

Piglet but stabby: i have trouble saying it what can i say

Ranboo: not sorry apparently 

Knoife <3: oh-

BIGMAN: NIKI YOU DO NOT GET TO DEFEND ERET YOU BURNED DOWN THE L'MANTREE

Knoife <3: I mean- I wasn’t?  
Knoife <3: BUT NOW I WILL YOU LITTLE SHIT 

**Ranboo changed their name to ik absolutely nothing**

Ik absolutely nothing: someone explain????

ArsonistBees: nah 

Honky Boi: IM A TIME TRAVELER WOOOO

ik absolutely nothing: THAT JUST MAKES THIS WORSE???

BIGMAN: TUBBO GET THE BOOKS

ArsonistBees: THE BOOKS DIED IN THE EXPLOSIN BIG MAN

Sand me a man: I MISS THE DRUG VAN 

Green eggs and ham: Hey Dream remember when we put you in prison because you got put on house arrest?  
Green eggs and ham: fun times

DUDUDU: very fun times :) 

Acnh but better: I’m sorry W H A T happened to my favorite boys?

BIGMAN: NOOK!!!!  
BIGMAN: NOOK LOOK AT OUR ISLAND  
BIGMAN: ME AND TUBBO PUT THE VILLAGERS IN THEIR OWN LITTLE AREAS

ArsonistBees: I PUT MINE IN CAGES!! :DD

Acnh but better: That's wonderful Toms!  
Acnh but better: I’m so proud of you Tubs

Green eggs and ham: when your brother is the favorite….

Quack Quack changed their name to Druggy Duck

Druggy Duck: WAIT NO SAM YOURE MY FAVORITE  
Druggy Duck: YOU GAVE ME A BROWNIE LIKE 4 YEARS AGO 

Green eggs and ham: i-  
Green eggs and ham: it was just a brownie?

Druggy Duck: NO IT WAS ONE OF THOSE WITH THE LITTLE CANDIES IN THEM 

SimpNimp: um sorry to intrude  
SimpNimp: but me and Karl are locked in walmart?

Druggy Duck: WITHOUT ME???

Honky Boi: IM GONNA DRINK ALL THE MONSTERS

**ArsonistBees changed ik absolutely nothing’s name to Ranboozled**

Ranboozled: WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN HAPPENING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a plan for angst so im giving you this crack while you suffer for the next chapter :p (im also avoiding like 7 school assignments to do this lmao)
> 
> also the l’manburg/dream smp was just a creek is actually one of my other aus that ive written things for so let me know if you want to see them!!!
> 
> also also, seriously i literally freak out when you guys comment so keep doing it! You can give me ideas, feedback, or even just talk to me if you want! The screenname ill normally us is “Your amazing gremlin author” or “the author who just doesnt have an account yet”!! (38462 on the waiting list pog)
> 
> **trust me he freaks out alot whenever i read your guys' comments to him lmao. I may not reply much since I'm not much of a talker and an Awkward Boi™ but rest assured i definitely read your comment**


	5. Ramboozled: did you just write out kissy face instead of finding the emoji?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive done 23 assignments today- my brain is in P A I N (i also might have ran around in the cold rain for 2 hours so now i still cant feel my legs, if i die tell my children i love them) so enjoy this not angst with lore drops while i try and remind myself that i do in fact have legs
> 
> **this was done a few hours ago i just woke up after pulling an all-nighter for an essay lmao**

**[*distorted mii shop noises*]**

**BIGMAN added Philza Minecraft to the chat**

Piglet but stabby: TOMMY???

Sand me a man: TOMMY NO I SAID I WAS SORRY

DUDUDU: OH WE ADDING PARENTS NOW???

**DUDUDU added Papa Puffy**

Papa Puffy: Hello Duckling! 

My pretty princess: Puffy.

Papa Puffy: Schlatt.

ArsonistBees: TUBBO!!

Ranboozled: Ranboo?

ArsonistBees: Ranboo my beloved *kissy face*

Ramboozled: did-  
Ramboozled: did you just write out kissy face instead of finding the emoji?

ArsonistBees: fuck yeah i did

SimpNimp: WE ADDING OUR PARENTS???  
SimpNimp: _@EggpireUwU_

EggpireUwU: yes sappy?

SimpNimp: I HAVE TO COOLEST DAD OUT OF ALL OF YOU

Druggy Duck: SAPNAP MY BELOVED  
Druggy Duck: YOURE FATHER IS BADBOYHALO??

EggpireUwU: Got a problem Quackity? :)

Druggy Duck: YOU STABBED ME???

Honky Boi: IM SORRY WHAT

Colorblind <3: W H A T

DUDUDU: BAD???

EggpireUwU: I did no such thing you muffin! ò_ó

Druggy Duck: I HAVE THE SCARS TO PROVE IT?

Papa Puffy: Oh are we talking about how Bads stabbed people before?

DUDUDU: YOU KNEW???

Papa Puffy: of course i did!  
Papa Puffy: Sam and Purpled did too!

Orangen’t: ok so i can explain

Green eggs and ham: lmao yeah he almost killed me and nook

DUDUDU: WHATS NEXT  
DUDUDU: TOMMY IS BEST FRIENDS WITH BOFFY??

BIGMAN: Welllllllllllllll

DUDUDU: WHAT  
DUDUDU: THE  
DUDUDU: F U C K 

BIGMAN: we were in the foster system together what can i say

ArsonistBees: well tbh e v e r y o n e knew Boffy

Ranboozled: oh i remember being told about him!  
Ranboozled: He hated cows right?

Druggy Duck: CAN WE PLEASE GO BACK TO SAM AND NOOK ALMOST DYING AT THE HANDS OF BADBOYHALO

SimpNimp: i mean 

Green eggs and ham: L 

Acnh but better: To be honest I was protecting Tommy and Tubbo. 

BIGMAN: HUH????

ArsonistBees: what??

EggpireUwU: You cost me so many knives. 

BIGMAN: BAD KNOWS HOW TO USE KNIVES??  
BIGMAN: WHAT THE FUCK

EggpireUwU: Language!  
EggpireUwU: and of course I do you muffin!

BIGMAN: I R E F U S E TO BEALIVE THIS MAN TRIED TO KILL ME  
BIGMAN: I R E F U S E

Colorblind: Techno and Wilbur being real quiet 

Sand me a man: no one plans a murder out loud

Piglet but stabby: I'm staying out of this.

EggpireUwU: As you should. 

DUDUDU: i forgot bad could be this scary…..

SimpNimp: did you forget we call him a demon?

Skippy: hery gays wjat dis k miasf

EggpireUwU: Hi Geppy!!!  
EggpireUwU: Nothing much!! Just telling some stories!!

Furry: i think i finally understand why Techno is so scared of Bad-

Piglet but stabby: Yeah no shit furry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I FORGOT TO WRITE THE ANGST BUT DOES ANYONE ELSE SUDDENLY REALLY WISH THEY WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP??? LIKE REALLY BADLY YEARNING FOR SOMEONE?? THAT DOEST EXIST??? LIKE NOT EVEN A FICTIONAL CHARACTER JUST LIKE A HUMAN BEING?? IM SO CONFUSED??? I just want an 80s movie relationship ;-; is that too much to ask ;-;
> 
> (extra because im just like that: have a [new version](https://youtu.be/8lVTQywL4-E) of achilles come down)
> 
> **my aro ass is laughing at your pain**

**Author's Note:**

> Offered to post this for a friend :D
> 
> Chapters will come out when they spam text me to post them so idk about an update schedule lmao. I am just in the dark as you guys so we'll get through this together-
> 
> (If you saw a spelling error- It's a chatfic. Who cares.)
> 
> Also i got lazy with formatting so i might come back to this-
> 
> Kudos and Comments appreciated! I'm alway's down for some good feedback!


End file.
